“Canaan” by Lee Yeong-Gwang

Lee Yeong Gwang
Lee Yeong Gwang (image source)

“Where will Canaan go to church,” she asked.
“The road’s rough, so keep close,” I said.
As if this pleased her, she smiled and her whole floral-print jacket smiled along with her.
This woman who would barely pass for 30, following over 40 year-old me
more happily than any other woman in my life.
Cherry blossoms wilting, we pass from an onion patch
by a crooked path at the foot of a hill towards a small passage.
I couldn’t have known. I was surprised. But not because she asked again, more forcefully,
“And where will Canaan go to church?” But not because, in an instant,
the front of her blouse was torn back and her bare breasts sprang out, as if deliberately,
drawing my neck to linger there. But not because suddenly there appeared behind her
the worn face of a woman laughing aloud as she struck this naked body
putting on its clothing, then disappeared without even a slight apology. Before a senseless body,
I’m one to mindlessly adjust my collar. I am a body too. How could you be one?
How could you do anything but bear it? Even if this is a body to be taken and cast off,
was it a wretchedness I should have offered? The moment you said you’d give everything
to follow me, is that something no one else has? To a land of trembling
flowing with blood and poison, even there, you would follow.



가나안 교회를 어디로 가야 하나요. 그녀는
물었고, 길이 복잡하니 따라오라고 나는 말했다.
마음에 든다는 듯 그녀는 웃었다. 꽃무늬 재킷 전체가 웃었다.
서른이 안 돼 보이는 여자가 마흔이 넘은 나를
내 생애의 어떤 여자보다도 기쁘게 따라왔다.
벚꽃이 지고 있었다. 언덕 밑 자드락길 파밭 지나
골목에 접어들어서도 나는 몰랐다. 놀랐다.
가나안 교회를 얼마나 가야 하니, 반말로 그녀가 다시
물어서가 아니었다. 그녀가 별안간
블라우스 앞섶을 홱 열어젖히고 맨가슴을 꺼낸 채로
달려들어서, 내 목을 끌어안고 매달려서가
아니었다. 문득 여자의 등 뒤에서 여자를 꼭 닮은
늙은 얼굴이 나타나 깔깔대는 알몸을 철썩철썩
때려가며 옷을 입히고, 사과도 없이 허둥지둥
사라져서가 아니었다. 아, 나는 정신없는 몸 앞에서
정신없이 옷깃을 여미는 인간이구나. 나도 몸이었구나.
하지만, 너는 어떻게 그럴 수 있었니. 어떻게
견디지 않을 수 있었니. 벗은 몸이라도 내밀어야 했던
참혹이 있었던가. 다 벗어던지고라도 따라가야 했던
순간이 누구에게는 없었을 것인가, 살 떨리는 그곳이 비록
독과 피가 흐르는 저주의 땅이라 해도.


The  poem originally appeared in Moonji Webzine, a free, online Korean-language literary journal. Moonji Webzine was discontinued, but new content is still posted on Moonji’s blog.

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