“Jealousy is My Strength” by Ki Hyeong-Do

Ki Hyeong-Do
Ki Hyeong-Do (image source)

After much time has passed,
a weak bookmark will make these pages fall.
In the past, my heart filled so many booklets.
Foolish, but there was much to write.
I was anxious in the open air, wandering aimlessly
like a dog beneath a cloud, a stranger to exhaustion.
All I have are sighs.
In evening streets I saw the young laid down.
Having counted with wonder the days I’ve lived,
having had no one who feared me,
I see that the substance of my desire was jealousy.
So here, first, I write a short note:
In my life I looked hopelessly for love,
never having once loved myself.



아주 오랜 세월이 흐른 뒤에
힘없는 책갈피는 이 종이를 떨어뜨리리
그때 내 마음은 너무나 많은 공장을 세웠으니
어리석게도 그토록 기록할 것이 많았구나
구름 밑을 천천히 쏘다니는 개처럼
지칠 줄 모르고 공중에서 머뭇거렸구나
나 가진 것 탄식밖에 없어
저녁 거리마다 물끄러미 청춘을 세워두고
살아온 날들을 신기하게 세어보았으니
그 누구도 나를 두려워하지 않았으니
내 희망의 내용은 질투뿐이었구나
그리하여 나는 우선 여기에 짧은 글을 남겨둔다
나의 생은 미친 듯이 사랑을 찾아 헤매었으나
단 한번도 스스로를 사랑하지 않았노라


“Jealousy is My Strength” (질투는 나의 힘) appears in the collection Black Leaf Inside My Mouth (입 속의 검은 잎).

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